Gratitude and Wanting
Who would believe it - it's freezing and nasty throughout most of the country, but here in Colorado, home of the best skiing in the country, it's balmy. I love it here!
I've been thinking about gratitude lately and the role it plays in happiness. I've never been a person who had a lot of goals - I can always see what next step I'd like to take but not always where I want to see it lead me. That stood out to me recently when a friend told me that she knows where she wants to be, but isn't quite sure how to get there. I used to wonder if I lacked ambitition. Maybe I do, but maybe ambition isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Gratitude and wanting aren't mutually exclusive - you can have both - but their definitely opposing forces. The trick to being a happy person, I believe, is to lead with gratitude. So you don't say "I'll just be happy when I get that big promotion!" but "I'm so fortunate to have my health and family. If I get that big promotion, it'll be the icing on the cake". I know, easier said than done, but that's what introspection and meditation is all about. You might even find yourself saying "I hope they don't give me that big promotion because it will just cut into my family time".
The trick is knowing the difference between what you want and what you need. Then you can examine what you want more closely - why do I want it? What is it going to cost me or what will I put at risk to get it and to keep it? How will I benefit from it, and is that a good reason to give up what it will cost? And then of course the other trick is being honest with yourself about those things.
Here's the bottom line, and the thing I foolishly think I can instill in my offspring. If you're always wanting and waiting to be happy unil you achieve what you want, you'll never be happy. If you're grateful for what you have and open to what the world will bring you, you'll usually be happy. Gratitude begets happiness and happiness, if you let it, begets gratitude. It's a good cycle to get caught in.
I've been thinking about gratitude lately and the role it plays in happiness. I've never been a person who had a lot of goals - I can always see what next step I'd like to take but not always where I want to see it lead me. That stood out to me recently when a friend told me that she knows where she wants to be, but isn't quite sure how to get there. I used to wonder if I lacked ambitition. Maybe I do, but maybe ambition isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Gratitude and wanting aren't mutually exclusive - you can have both - but their definitely opposing forces. The trick to being a happy person, I believe, is to lead with gratitude. So you don't say "I'll just be happy when I get that big promotion!" but "I'm so fortunate to have my health and family. If I get that big promotion, it'll be the icing on the cake". I know, easier said than done, but that's what introspection and meditation is all about. You might even find yourself saying "I hope they don't give me that big promotion because it will just cut into my family time".
The trick is knowing the difference between what you want and what you need. Then you can examine what you want more closely - why do I want it? What is it going to cost me or what will I put at risk to get it and to keep it? How will I benefit from it, and is that a good reason to give up what it will cost? And then of course the other trick is being honest with yourself about those things.
Here's the bottom line, and the thing I foolishly think I can instill in my offspring. If you're always wanting and waiting to be happy unil you achieve what you want, you'll never be happy. If you're grateful for what you have and open to what the world will bring you, you'll usually be happy. Gratitude begets happiness and happiness, if you let it, begets gratitude. It's a good cycle to get caught in.
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